Madness in the dating zone
Last Updated On: July 05, 2018 At: 09:26 (GMT+3) By: Mambo Mseto
A procession of nubile companions, nestling up to rather average-looking older men with deep pockets is commonplace. Traditionally, the privilege of playing sugar daddy was a big boys' club affair. But that notion is changing fast.
I have noticed, an increase of well-to-do women in the over 40-age bracket developing a taste for very young boys. By toy boys I mean those physically appealing, only-good-for-bed-men, who leave one rejuvenated and feeling bashfully sexy.
It is now the preferred way of handling the midlife crisis among these women.
Nothing boosts the ego better than a young virile man, walking right past his beautiful age mates with an upturned nose to wrap his arm possessively around the paunchy waistline of his older female lover.
Beauty and the beast is now rivalled by 'handsome and mama combo'. In the city, it is never that visible.
However, in public spaces, hidden from the untrained eye, young men in their 20s are now openly prowling for older women with sugar mummy potential.
They do not place much premium on the older woman's looks or figure. As long as she looks pampered and desperate for attention, she remains fair game.
If there was ever a valid case for the saying 'opposites attract', then this would be it. Apparently, younger men are today not interested in hooking up with their stunning peers.
One justification offered is that the average young male is in no position to compete for the attention of the girls within his age group as older men with established careers have disrupted dating patterns in several colleges.
As one frustrated man put it, young women are accustomed to lifestyles that are beyond the scope of the average college mate. They are forever chasing after material stuff and money.
With stereotypes like this, it is no wonder younger men are socialised towards rejection when relating to their female peers. Some among them have responded to the challenge by training their sights beyond the immediate environment.
The new demographic is over 40, pampered and looking for a good time. The highly sought-after older woman is the exact antithesis of the younger female. The reason is a simple.
A woman over 40 has learnt how to stroke a man's ego and does not expect him to live beyond his means. There is also little chance of being
upstaged by a more financially secure male because she has all the money and the comforts it can buy.
I find it quite ironical whenever I encounter women in their 50s being perturbed by the frequent attention from men young enough to be their children.
Boys who put in genuine effort not only to live up to the strong and virile image but also to make a solid account of themselves between the sheets.
It is clearly flattering. Men have always found that kind of attention infectious. Now it is the turn of the women to bask in their newfound attractiveness which is connected to their purses.
Physical beauty as a meal ticket has existed from time immemorial and was for long the exclusive preserve of women. Today, a significant minority of men have caught on to the game and are exploiting it with a vengeance.
The proponents believe that the buffed need not work too hard and the handsome cannot starve. All it takes, is placing oneself strategically in the marketplace and soon enough a lonely older woman driving a top of the range car model will stop to drool.
Within slim sections of the younger generation there seems to be a backlash against dating age mates. It is really down to the question of scare and limited resources.
On one hand, the famous and beautiful individuals want to exclusively date other beautiful stars. In the celebrity ranks, it is an additional bonus when the high profile partner is just as good looking.
But outside that fantasy world of celebrities, most people seem to be falling back to the old reality of opposites attract.
So the beautiful model, tired of the superficial beautiful men who jostles for the mirror with her, settles for the average-looking bloke. The one who will remain genuinely attracted to her , never giving her cause to feel insecure.
In the same breath, masculine beauty is headed mainstream. Nowadays, faced with the damning prospect of never meeting the perfect partner
within the same social class, many women are shedding the pretence and seeking men in the blue collar sectors who make them feel attractive and loved.
It is a case of going back to basics. All the man has to be is tall, virile and available.
The plain Janes who went through their earlier years thinking they were ugly or unshapely are discovering that life does truly begin at 40.
Having a special someone who considers you beautiful even if you have to pay for it can work miracles for one's self-esteem.
Contrary to popular opinion, the select group of younger men who prefer their women older are one step ahead of the gigolo.
They date with their emotions and are prepared to make a long-term investment as they remain astutely aware of the hand that feeds them.
Mate selection is motivated largely by the partners' attractiveness. If this trend gathers momentum, then new introductions will have to be coded into everyday speech.
Men will introduce their wives as loving and caring while women will talk about their beautiful and faithful husbands.
I think until men are allowed to be handsome airheads married to overweight, elderly and rich women, equality of sexes will remain an illusion.